“The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.”
― Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death: A Christian Psychological Exposition for Upbuilding and Awakening
I’ve had many jobs and a few careers.
I wasn’t called to any of them and even now, I’ve no idea how I ended up a lawyer
A lawyer for god’s sake.
I could have or should have given each role/career a great deal more thought but I never did. I was driven on by the moral order that meant I had to get a job.
What else could I or should I have done?
Well, for a start, figured out how I could find a different set of internal marching orders which weren’t prescribed by fear.
Fear of being hungry, poor and not fitting in.
But that’s a pipe dream when you live in and are part of the neo-liberal capitalist world that counts on your labour to keep the wheels moving — at least for the few.
Seriously, though, even as a man of twenty-something I should have asked myself not so much what I liked to do or was good at but what would sustain and nourish my soul for the rest of my days.
That’s not how I was schooled. No, conformity was the order of the day and not making a ruckus.
What am I saying, really?
Simply this. Work or a career or leadership or any grand title is not the apogee of what it means to be human and one day (I hope) we’ll figure that out.
Blessings,
Julian
PS. If you get a chance you must play this album by Nils Frahm.
Morning Sir, sounds like you are not the happiest of reflectors today. Given that you are probably in your 50’s now, what will make you happy for more than a few days and what are you going to do about it ?