Going with the flow
“We think our actions express our decisions. But in nearly all of our life, willing decides nothing. We cannot wake up or fall asleep, remember or forget our dreams, summon or banish our thoughts, by deciding to do so. When we greet someone on the street we just act, and there is no actor standing behind what we do. Our acts are end points in long sequences of unconscious responses. They arise from a structure of habits and skills that is almost infinitely complicated. Most of our life in enacted without conscious awareness. Nor can it be made conscious. No degree of self-awareness can make us self-transparent.”
― John Gray, Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals
It would be nice to think we’re in charge of life — i.e. we possess free will and choice — but, in many ways, we’re no more and no less than the flotsam and jetsam of the metaphysical world.
But, I suspect, that’s not how many of us see it. Instead, we’re possessed of an innate and expressive ability to fulfill and/or control our destiny.
Put it another way: the personal development paradigm has done its best to persuade us that with enough energy, determination, perseverance and change of course apropos of our habits, we too can have whatever our hearts desire, which mostly means a better life.
And that’s fine because even that Game isn’t one we’re in charge of; namely, we could just easily decide that life wasn’t made in the image of a narrow group of people and we’re going to live out our life in whatever way it happens. If that conjures up the idea of fatalism or a rejection of the status quo then so be it but at the end of the day, as I’ll continue to say, there is only this . . .
the absolute appearing as the relative.
Of course, you may have a very different experience of ‘life’ and that’s fine. In fact, everything is perfect just as it is — however that appears to you.
Blessings, Julian
PS. Below is a favourite poem of mine.
The Whole Mess ... Almost
BY GREGORY CORSO
I ran up six flights of stairs
to my small furnished room
opened the window
and began throwing out
those things most important in life
First to go, Truth, squealing like a fink:
“Don’t! I’ll tell awful things about you!”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ve nothing to hide ... OUT!”
Then went God, glowering & whimpering in amazement:
“It’s not my fault! I’m not the cause of it all!” “OUT!”
Then Love, cooing bribes: “You’ll never know impotency!
All the girls on Vogue covers, all yours!”
I pushed her fat ass out and screamed:
“You always end up a bummer!”
I picked up Faith Hope Charity
all three clinging together:
“Without us you’ll surely die!”
“With you I’m going nuts! Goodbye!”
Then Beauty ... ah, Beauty—
As I led her to the window
I told her: “You I loved best in life
... but you’re a killer; Beauty kills!”
Not really meaning to drop her
I immediately ran downstairs
getting there just in time to catch her
“You saved me!” she cried
I put her down and told her: “Move on.”
Went back up those six flights
went to the money
there was no money to throw out.
The only thing left in the room was Death
hiding beneath the kitchen sink:
“I’m not real!” It cried
“I’m just a rumor spread by life ... ”
Laughing I threw it out, kitchen sink and all
and suddenly realized Humor
was all that was left—
All I could do with Humor was to say:
“Out the window with the window!”
Photo by Cassidy Dickens on Unsplash