Entering into life
“Every life is in many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love, but always meeting ourselves.” ― James Joyce, Ulysses
I have rediscovered a cadence to my writing.
In fact, having started using Google Docs again, I’m inspired to want to write a longer piece that I don’t tear off in one sitting.
That’s not for code saying I’m going to deluge you with a 10,000-word piece but I’ve a few strands that I want to weave into something more than a pith exhortation or rant, as too much of my writing has become.
Alongside this strain of predilection or need to create is that dastardly thing called work. I’ve slightly cheated on my 2024 plans but I’ve at least been able to wrangle a new contract from my current employer and reduced my working week to four days per week starting on 2 January 2024 — a small but important step towards me pulling the plug.
And I’m (still) reading in a slightly random way. At the moment it’s the Greeks and then I’ve got a behemoth of a book to read by Ned Blackhawk called The Rediscovery of America, Native People and the Unmaking of U.S. History. It chimes with a few things that Stephen Jenkinson has spoken to and I know I need to go deeper in my understanding of what happened to the native people of America.
And then there’s music. I’ve cancelled my Spotify subscription and am back with Bandcamp. Below is another new artist that I discovered this morning. My favourite track is Who I Sound Like. Here is the opening to the song:
Fear that I am frozen here I lay down and close my eyes If I were to open, clear See you standing in the light It wouldn’t matter who I’d sound like Whether or not I knew what to say Whether I could ask for what I need I just want to talk to you today
One other thing that keeps coming up is a need for initiation.
What do I mean?
I feel that I’m living on borrowed time and to break with the past and cut the Gordian Knot on my previous need for work as an edification of life, I have to enter a liminal, and dark space that only nature can offer. I know that sounds melodramatic but I’ve become soft and not just at the ephemeral edges, meaning I need to throw myself at the mercy of the oracular space that only nature can offer. I’m packed and ready to go and instead of making excuses, I need to start walking. And I will but I’m unlikely to say anything before I go and even when I return.
Take care.
Much love, Julian