“Widening Circles
Written by Rainer Maria Rilke
Translated by Joanna Macy
I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.
I circle around God, around the primordial tower.
I’ve been circling for thousands of years
and I still don’t know: am I a falcon,
a storm, or a great song?”
In case you’re wondering, the title came to me as I was walking the dogs a few days ago. But, for the record, it’s been there a lot longer.
A lot longer…
In short, what I’m adverting to is the absence of options that have become the cultural norm here in the West, which I now take to mean everyone in the world. This point isn’t beyond doubt but I have this unerring sense that given a choice between backwater stuff (e.g. dirt under the fingernails), everyone will opt for something more convivial, easier and altogether in keeping with influencer world.
Think about it.
How many options were you offered at School?
Get a job…or what else?
That was my lot.
And despite the pathetic “careers” offering, no one gave a shit if my soul was enlivened or envigorated by my work. You were off our hands and someone else’s problem!
I think about my children – amazing in every way: architect, pupil barrister and prison officer. As harsh as it sounds, I’m not convinced that that is where their heart is – either in the job or any other job. And I feel sorrowful that I’ve contributed to them becoming part of the system. What if my wife and I had decided on a very different, allegedly non-conformist life?
What then?
Well, I can’t be sure, but in the same order as the above careers, it might have gone something like this: artist, gardener and farmer. Is there much difference? I’ll let you be the judge of that.
I ask myself why my parents were so besotted with me getting a job. Was that simply because they wanted me off their hands? It sure feels that way. They sure didn’t appear to be invested in much else.
But this far out, I’m bound to wonder what might have been if we’d descended to a very different place, one replete with our ancestral roots. Would I have ended up less broken, less brokenhearted and altogether a very different man?
Who knows but you do have to ask yourself why we offer so few options to those children coming through the ‘system’. For the record, the notion of a well-paid job assumes BAU; and unless I’ve got this very wrong, that which goeth up and up will eventually end up like Icaryrus or something of similar order. And weave into the mix AI or whatever godforsaken mythos we have in store for the future ‘workers’, and I’m doubtful that any child would vote for what my generation or the one to follow had to endure.
Like I have said before (mea culpa), I could have this very wrong and it’s all up for grabs but I’ve more than a whiff that somehow we’ve chosen the wrong path.
Take care.
Love,
Julian
Photo by Blinked & Passed on Unsplash
I'm also struck by the choices we make for our children, and the choices life offers. Mine (21 & 14) are both on unconventional life paths. The older became chronically unwell with the same condition as me just after taking GCSEs. He managed A levels over 3 years. He's learned so much about himself and life and the systems that trap us decades ahead of me. He wouldn't take most jobs if you put a gun to his head. But he's also not able to work. He's watched all his friends go to uni while he's been in a limited and limiting shape.
I'm very hopeful for the kind of life he might build from all this. But I would never have chosen this for him.
The younger is not in school and will probably take life on without any kind of the usual qualifications. But he's been through systemic hell to get to this point.
I suspect that, fully immersed in the structures of empire, or completely outside of them - our kids simply have very different sets of problems.
It's relatively easy for me to thank life for the unwanted gifts it has offered me, that have forced me to re-evaluate what life is about, in spite of the many challenges. It's harder for me to be grateful for life throwing equally difficult challenges/gifts at my children...
Hi Julian
I'm enjoying your musings, thanks for writing.
I find myself taking issue with the universal language in parts of this piece: "everyone will opt for something more convivial, easier etc..."
My experience is that a minority of folk - a small but undoubtedly growing minority - will tend to opt for the difficult, the community-minded or the future-building much of the time, and mistrust the easy, well trodden paths. I'm finding these kinds of people cropping up in all kinds of circles, and have great admiration for the new paths they are starting to walk, without the help of map or highway.